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7 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his MAGA Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!”

01/23/2020 5:25 pm ET Brian Frazer
8 1/3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER AGAIN SAY “READ THE TRANSCRIPT!” 7

Source: AP News

1. There actually is no transcript

7 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his Maga Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!”

Unsplash Credit: Will Porada

He might as well have said “Read the postcard” or “Read the novel.”

8 1/3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER AGAIN SAY “READ THE TRANSCRIPT!” 2

Source: Dictionary.com

There was no “exact copy” or “reproduction”. Trump cherry-picked five or six minutes of assorted words and phrases from a thirty-minute call. Attention MAGAs: there’s no paywall on Dictionary.com so you can look up as many words as you’d like without giving out your credit card info.

2. The actual transcript exists – but Trump has made sure no one ever sees it

8 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his Maga Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!” 1

Source: Unsplash Credit: Ian Battaglia

The “administration” continues to keep that call – and many others – locked away in a secret server so nobody has access to transcribing or hearing it. Citizens would be happy to chip in for all transcribing expenses if that’s the issue. Okay, maybe not MAGAs but the rest of us.

3. “Read the snippets!” Actually, please don’t — even those are incriminating

8 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his Maga Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!” 1

Anyone who read what was released – which, again, is NOT A TRANSCRIPT – will clearly see that Trump committed a crime by not releasing Congressional-approved foreign aid unless said foreign country interfered with our elections with a sham investigation that ONLY NEEDED TO BE ANNOUNCED, not pursued. (Kinda like the Senate impeachment trial.)

4. Trump doesn’t quite understand what “perfect” means, either

If a “perfect phone call” means committing bribery and extortion in order to cheat on your second consecutive election then, by all means, the call was perfect. Oh, and Trump even lied about when the call occurred, hardly qualifying the convo as above-average.

Here’s another Dictionary.com refresher:

8 1/3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER AGAIN SAY “READ THE TRANSCRIPT!” 3

Source: Dictionary.com

8 1/3 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD NEVER AGAIN SAY “READ THE TRANSCRIPT!”

Source: Dictionary.com

5. For some, the “perfect phone call” was a death sentence

7 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his Maga Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!” 2

The call – in which Trump refused to release the mandated aid – led to at least 55 Ukrainian deaths. It would have been exponentially more had it not been for the courage of the whistleblower. Maybe if someone reminded Stephen Miller that the 55 people were white, he’d care.

6. They may FINALLY connect the dots and realize that he’s a con man who can only win elections by cheating

7 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his Maga Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!” 3

Unsplash Credit: Jorgen Haland

Your dear leader is attempting to smear Joe Biden, just as he smeared Hillary with fake concerns about national security — while he continues to converse with world leaders on an unsecured iPhone! Trump wasn’t disturbed about corruption in a random foreign country. He was disturbed about corruption about a single American citizen in a random foreign country — a single American citizen whose father just happens to be the Democratic frontrunner in our next election. Coincidence? Yeah, sure it is.

7. They could discover the power of a Whistleblower

7 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his Maga Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!” 4

The minimal amount of info was only made public BECAUSE TRUMP HAD BEEN CAUGHT AND EXPOSED BY THE WHISTLEBLOWER. Had that brave official not spoken out, Trump would have released a blank piece of paper coated in butter.

7 1/3. The Packers will beat the Titans in the Super Bowl

7 1/3 Reasons Why Trump is Secretly Hoping his Maga Fans Don’t “Read the Transcript!” 5

Unsplash Credit: Dave Adamson

Which is less of a lie than anything about Ukraine by the GOP.

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